Sex for shoes

Posted by September Blue Sunday, 16 December 2007

From one of the women's glossy magazines in our staffroom, on an article titled 'Inside the Male Mind'. Item no.2: Men forget anniversaries because, (insert essentialist evo-psych babble here). Followed by:

How to handle it
Next time there's a special date looming make yourself more of a goal. Mori research recently discovered that although 38% of men in stable relationships want sex three or more times a week, only nine per cent get it - a statistic you could well capitalise on! "The part of the brain responsive to sex hormones is two-and-a-half times larger in men than in women, so make it obvious what reward he'll be getting at the end of the evening," explains counsellor Suzie Hayman. "Then suggest he buys you some sexy shoes or eveningwear for the big day and he'll feel like he has control over the situation with an end-goal he values."

Words fail.


  1. francofou Says:
  2. Hey, sounds like a good system to me!

  3. Autumn Song Says:
  4. Wait, I'm struggling to understand this: does it suggest that women make themselves 'the goal'? In a 'If you do this then you get to have sex with me' sort of way?

    I mean, hey, in this system I get new shoes etc, but this doesn't mean he remembers. It just means I still have to remind him, but by asking for presents...

    And why am I not the 'end-goal he values' enough to remember anyway??? (maybe this is explained in the psych babble you didn't quote?)

    Also, on many levels concerned by the 'offer him sex to get what you want' angle of this whole thing. Which magazine are you reading??

  5. I think the suggested deal goes like this: he wants sex, which you are prepared to tolerate having in order to get shoes; you want shoes (as a token of him doing something special to mark your anniversary), which he is prepared to tolerate buying in order to get sex; ergo, everybody's happy. Ick.

    (Come to think of it, I do know some people who might be prepared to trade sexual favours for really good shoes, but they're all men...)

  6. Dance Says:
  7. Do you have to withhold sex for a while before the occasion, too? to make the goal valuable?

    Of course, the real problem is with the basic premise that every anniversary, etc, needs to be a "big day."

    Incidentally, my captcha is "iittie", almost "tittie" which seems appropriate.